Tuesday, October 14, 2008

So, I have this game

I play this game on google sometimes where I take either my name or the name of one of my friends and type something in quotations on google (i.e. "Cathy smells like") and it will pull up from somewhere on the internet that exact phrase followed by the rest of the sentence. It is especially fun for me to use my own name because usually the "Whitney" that people are referring to is Whitney Houston. So I thought I would include a few of my favorites :)

Google: "Whitney looks like"

1.Whitney looks like a clean paid crackhead that aint got to pay as much anymore because she aint sharing with bobby no more.

2. [Mount] Whitney looks like an impressive crag, but it is actually gently rounded on the west side

3.Whitney looks like she's been bonging it in the ladies room.

4.Whitney looks like her hair smells

5.Whitney looks like a dazed and confused crack-head like she always did!!!

6.Whitney looks like a crackhead in a nice dress

7.Whitney looks like a cow. Not because of her size, but her bovine face.

8.Whitney looks like the space aliens are about to beam her up into the ship.

9.Whitney looks like she was on her way to see her Grandparents

10.Whitney looks like Skeletor out of He-Man.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Leylanese

For those of you who are not fluent in Leylanese... here is a quick Leyland/English dictionary.


Bucoo- sippy cup or drink (we don't know where this came from)

pees- Pen, Crayon, Pencil any other writing utensil

Fors- Fork

Poon- Spoon

Cowey- Corey

Boon- Balloon

"Ike a Fy"- I can fly

Bardey- Barney

Toot- Stuart (as in Stuart Little the movie)

Tays- Tales (Veggie Tales)

up uh bub uh bub uh bub - " up above the world so high"

deek it- Drink it

Ma- Grandma

Bee- Mary

OCA- Oscar (The Grouch) this is usually growled

Pappy- Pacifier

Peety- Pizza

cwose- Clothes

Pitty- Pretty

Rub A Dub Dub There's A Turd in the Tub?!

Yep, you read right. First let me start by congratulating Leyland on using the potty for the first time!!! YAY!! but before that..... Leyland was having her bath this morning, playing as usual for about 20 minutes after the bathing is complete. I stepped around the corner for a moment to do something at the sink. (Leyland was in my peripheral vision). I come back around the corner to see what looks like a piece of meat loaf floating in the tub ( this would not have been unusual, because Leyland has secret hiding places everywhere and she had meat loaf for dinner Tuesday night.) I said "What is that Leyland?" She started to scream. She was terrified of the object. I got a closer look and, you guessed it, a huge turd is floating in the tub ( I am very thankful that it was an actual turd instead of the mushier variety). I immediately pulled her out of the tub and place her on the potty. Where she proceeds to pee, while I get the turd out of the tub. So Yay for Peeing in the potty, Boo on pooping in the tub. It's a work in progress, what can I say?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Sick

Leyland, Corey, Dustin, and I seem to have come down with a cold over the weekend. This really sucks because on top of being sick myself, I have to take care of 3 other people who are also sick. Leyland gets irritable and mean, Corey gets choked up when he's trying to sleep, and Dustin snores so loud (further depriving me of sleep) that I'm afraid the windows will break. Hopefully this will not last long. This is the first time I have had to deal with ALL of us being sick at once. Wish me luck (and naps) ! On a side note, I have to go and change my name on the voter registration list so that I will be able to vote for McCain/Palin come November. I can put it off no longer as today is the last day.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Debate

Okay, I love Sarah Palin as much as the next republican, but seriously can we just remove the words "maverick" and "reform" from her vocabulary for a while? Please?

Sears = frustrated Whit and Babies

SIGH.......So, My father came over yesterday to put the donut tire on my car so that I could drive to Sears to get new tires. I chose Sears because they quoted me a cheaper "drive-off" price than Wal-Mart or anywhere else for that matter. So, I arrive at Sears at approximately 1:15pm prepared to wait about an hour and a half or so. It takes about 20 minutes for someone to even help me, then another 10 minutes for me to get the point across that I had already reserved my tires and no I do not want any additional services. At this point I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the speed with which anything is happening. V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W..... Finally, they tell me to go and walk around the mall and come back in an hour. It is now approximately 2pm. 45 minutes have passed with virtually nothing accomplished. So I walk around the mall, marveling at the fact that there is a Laser Tooth Whitening kiosk as well as a ProActiv vending machine. Leyland of course, has started down the irreversible path towards a meltdown. So eventually an hour has passed so at 3 I start heading back to Sears. When I reach the entrance to the store, my phone rings. The seemingly incompetent man informs me that "there was a problem". Without meaning to be rude I accidentally said "Oh Shit" into the phone. (woops). The man proceeds to tell me that when removing the tires, they discovered that the lug nuts on the donut tire are "cross-threaded". I ask him if this will cost more money, and of course it does. So I ask him how much more and he tells me that the parts are about 20.00 and he isn't sure of the labor cost. Thinking this not too unreasonable, I told him that I would be at the counter momentarily and he could go and find out the labor cost while I walked. He agreed to do so and I continued towards the counter. Meanwhile, Leyland is getting closer and closer to the meltdown that I have been anticipating. Once we arrive at the counter I see through the window that my car is up on the lift and my original tires are simply lying on the ground next to my car. Apparently it takes an hour to accomplish this much. The man finally comes out to talk to me after I've been waiting (impatiently) at the counter for 15 minutes. He informs me that the labor to put these three lug nuts back on will be FORTY-SEVEN DOLLARS I almost fell over!! The man working on my car tells me that whomever changed my tire put the lug nuts on cross-threaded. Unfortunately I have no frame of reference for why this is such a huge problem so naturally I call my father. Now, my father has been in the automotive business for most of his adult life (although now he is a police officer). My family ran a tune-up shop for ages. Needless to say, this was not the first time he'd ever changed a tire. So I call my dad, and he tells me that there is no possible way that he cross-threaded the lug nuts for 2 reasons. 1) This cannot be done using your fingers and tightening with a lug wrench (which is exactly what he did) It can only be done with an air wrench and 2) The lug nuts threaded very easily without force. So, I tell him that they are going to charge me an extra $67.00 to correct the problem. He offers to "speak" to the man working on my car for me. So I tell another guy to get Barry (the guy working on my car) so that my father can discuss the situation with him. So screaming Leyland , screaming Corey, and I stand there on the phone with my dad for a good 10 minutes before Barry makes an appearance. Don't ask me what he was doing all this time, but he sure as hell wasn't working on my car! So he finally comes out and talks to my Dad... I listen while the tone of the call goes from polite to belligerent. I can hear my fathers voice getting louder and louder and then finally I hear Barry say " I am the manager! The lug nuts are cross-threaded now!!" So then Barry hangs up and I call my dad back. Anyway, long story....long... Dad said that they were not cross-threaded when I drove to Sears and that Barry probably accidentally cross-threaded them with the air wrench. He also said that basically they have got you by the balls and you have to pay it. It takes about another 20 minutes for them to finish my car and it sits in the parking lot for an additional 20 minutes before anyone will let me check out. The check out process took about 10 minutes and by this point Leyland and Corey are in absolute DEFCON5. So ultimately, I paid $311.00 for 4 absolute bottom of the line tires (39.00 each) and spent almost 4 hours at Sears. Aren't you jealous???

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Flat Tire

So, I'm lying in bed about 6:30 this morning enjoying my time alone in the bed, when Dustin barges in telling me that I have to drive him to work this morning in Mom's car because our car has a flat tire. GREAT! So I throw Corey in his carseat, make sure Leyland is occupied with Stuart Little, and run out the door in my PJ's to make a mad dash to get Dustin to work on time. Of course we get behind the people who are just taking a leisurely drive and hit every single red light between Statham and Chase Street. We pull into the parking lot of Power Partners at 6:59. Dustin has to clock in by 7:00 at the latest to avoid getting an occurence, so I hope he made it to the time clock in under a minute. Now, I'm going to spend the rest of the morning trying to figure out where to get the best deal on tires (we were planning on getting new tires this weekend anyway... thank God). Anyway, It's 7:53am and I've already had my adventure for the day.... I hope...