Halloween

This Friday, as everyone knows, is Halloween. We are planning to pick Mary up from school so that she can do the trick-or-treat bit with us. So we are going to get everyone ready, go down to the church for the trunk-or-treat (where everyone puts their candy in their trunks and the kids walk around the parking lot instead of the house to house thing). So apparently there is a big concern about chocolate candy from China with melamine in it. So on top of the usual removal of items that are sketchy and/or choking hazards, now I have to look for melamine bars. Maybe I'll just buy a separate bag of loot for the kids and just throw out everything that they get. I mean when I was a kid you just avoided the crazy witch lady that lived across the street and threw away anything that didn't have a wrapper. That was it. Now, with all of the crazy people and horrible chemicals you have to do a complete security check on every dum dum. What makes this a million times more aggravating is that I will have a 2 y/o and a 6y/o wanting to eat everything that falls into their bucket as soon as they get it. Anyone want to come along for damage control? My step-mother wants us to come out there and trick-or-treat in their fancy pants neighborhood with my niece. Mary would love to do this, but I just don't know if I'll be able to do it. I guess I should try. I think people should just fork out cash.... when that catches on I'll be trick-or-treating with the best of them :) Have a safe and happy Halloween and seriously check out the candy. I know it's a pain in the ass, but I've seen several videos about the melamine thing. You can watch one here.

Stop the insanity!

Okay, first lemme start off by saying that I have combed the web and come up with a list of absolutely ridiculous baby products. Some of them I stole from another list created by someone else and some of them I came across on my own. More than likely you will be tempted to believe that these products are fake, but I assure you that they are real and available for purchase (with the exception of the Japanese mop idea). So let's get started :

The baby wig. Yes you are seeing a "lil kim" and a Jamaican wig for infants. I don't think that I need to express how many ways in which this is retarded.

Next, we have a baby spoon which dispenses a bite-sized portion of baby food with a squeeze. Now, this to me is just absolute laziness. It takes exactly 3.2 seconds to dip your spoon in the baby food, while it takes the baby about 10 seconds to swallow what you have given him. They should've just made an automatic swallower.
Next on the list is the Japanese design for a baby mop. I mean the kid is just crawling on the floor anyway, you might as well get your cleaning done! I think I"m going to order one of these....

This one is just sad. This is baby perfume. It is "new baby smell". So you don't even have to keep your baby clean anymore... just spritz 'em with this and they'll be good to go. I expect that this will be available in the car air freshner form soon also.

This is probably my personal favorite. Okay, so apparently if you have never heard of a play pen this is an acceptable alternative. You are seeing an infant hanging from a wall. I think this is actually for public restrooms, but I'm sure that if certain people got hold of this product their children would never be allowed down from the wall, and thus generally accepted as modern art in the home.

Let me introduce you to the Nosefrida. This product is exactly what you think it is. The woman has the end of a tube in her mouth and the other end strategically placed in her infant's nose so that she can effectively suck the snot from his nose. Now, I will say that there is a shield that prevents the snot from entering her mouth but still. EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW

Finally we have this. If I'm not mistaken it is called a zaky pillow. The sausage like protrusions you see on the baby's back are supposed to be fingers. I would laugh at anyone I saw using this product. This is a pillow in the shape of two hands designed to mimic the feel of the parent. ( I don't really see how it would fool a child unless you too have sausage fingers ). I guess this to make the parenting experience as "hands-off" as possible. Although, if you are going to trick you child into thinking he's being held, why not just hold him?

Well, I hope I have enlightened you to all of the "wonderful" products available for today's parents. Also, this doubles as my christmas wish list. Just in case you were wondering.

Abby Cadabby

For those of you who don't know, we (meaning Leyland) are currently obsessed with Abby Cadabby (Elmo's very cute fairy best friend). Okay, so I have to admit that I somewhat forced this obsession on her because the Abby clothes etc are far cuter than any other character out there. So for Leyland's birthday party we did Elmo/Abby it was a huge hit and thanks to my cousin Abby (purely coincidence) Leyland had an adorable dress with a custom embroidery design. Anyway, I digress. I decided that Leyland would be Abby Cadabby for halloween. We found her an Abby candy bucket and there is an Abby costume out there but in my opinion it is hideous. So since I am into making hairbows and tutus, I decided that I would just make her costume. I completed the tutu yesterday and it is absolutely precious. I still have to make her hair bows, but I don't think that will take me long once I have the time to devote to it. Mom bought Leyland some Abby PJ's and so she is just going to wear that under her tutu. I thought the "real" costume was retarded because it was sleeveless and really thin. I mean this is going to be the end of October at night, I don't want Leyland prancing around in just a flimsy little (ugly) thing. Anyway I can't wait for her to put the whole outfit on together. It's sure to be cute. Corey is going to be a dinosaur. Unfortunately, I do not yet possess the talents required to make a dinosaur costume (Dustin didn't want him to be a ballerina) so I guess I'll just have to settle with purchasing his costumes. Well, I hope everyone has a pleasant day. I am currently working on a blog that I hope you will find as funny as I do; maybe I'll finish it today. (Just so you know I am aware that I use a ridiculous amount of parentheses in my blogs...)

The Weekend

Well, the weekend was utterly exhausting as well as tons of fun. We went to pick up Mary in Gainesville about 4pm Friday. We came home and I made the girls some macaroni and cheese. Mary informed me that I am a better cook than her mother (which I appreciate since it was a box of Mac). After dinner, Mary and Leyland enjoyed a relaxing evening with a couple of good books. Saturday morning we got up with the sun to get ready to go to the fall festival. It was very very cold so everyone was bundled up. We met up with Lynn, MawMaw, and my niece, Bailey. Bailey and Mary had a blast! Lynn bought them day passes for all of the inflatable things (moonwalk, pirate ship, rocket, etc). They rode each of them about 84,000 times. So Lynn took Mary and Bailey around while Dustin and I took the little ones to get a bite to eat and look at stuff. Leyland got on the moonwalk, but refused to do anything but just lie there. After about 15 minutes, we finally convinced her to come out. We got some delicious homemade ice cream, and Leyland got to have her own bowl which thrilled her to no end. She was very careful and didn't really make too much of a mess. We met up with Lynn to retrieve Mary. They had gone to see the petting zoo and play in the corn box. Mary kept telling me that she had dried corn kernels in her pants. I figured she had a couple of pieces, but when we got home and got ready for bath she took off her pants to reveal over 100 kernels. I am not exaggerating at all. We counted to 100 and I have continued to find kernels since she went home. Mary went home Sunday after a visit to Dustin's Grandparents' house. She fell asleep approximately four seconds after we left. Leyland was asleep when we dropped Mary off and woke up about half way home and said "Where Mae?" (she has advanced from Bee to Mae). Leyland spiked a fever Sunday night and after the Doctor visit yesterday we learned that she has a virus which causes pink eye, sore throat, and fever. Corey was such a prince all weekend long! He was so chill at the Fall Festival. He was also the cutest boy there in his dinosaur outfit that Aunt Kate bought him. The weekend was busy busy and fun fun fun :)

Bowdacious Bows

Boutique Halloween Korker My presidential seal

tutu bow UGA football loopy bow Elmo Loopy Bow

My latest ambition is to be able to sell some of the hair bows that I have been making. I thought I would show some pictures here and anyone with girls (or boys.. I'm not judging) that would like to have a custom made hairbow you know where to find me. This is just a representative sample of the different styles that I can do. There are a few other varieties that I don't currently have made, but if you are curious I can make a few more to post pictures of. All colors can be interchanged as well, as objects (i.e. football or elmo). Extra charges will only acrue if I have to order something to complete your bow. Christmas colors available :)

Pinwheel bow Contrasting colors pinwheel Bitty Baby bow

I call it dookie...

Ok so this video is hilarious. Please read this before you watch it! My dad bought Leyland the Elmo Potty Time DVD for her birthday because I bought her the Elmo potty. Basically the whole DVD is funny because obviously they are talking about peeing and pooping. So this is a clip of kids describing what word they use for poop. My mom and I were watching this with Leyland the first time we played it for her. We almost had to run to the potty ourselves. Enjoy this clip and please laugh your butt off as I will not be able to be your friend if you do not. Well, I will be your friend, but I will think that your sense of humor sucks. By the way, the black bar that appears on the tv screen is not there in real life... It must have something to do with video taping a tv. sorry about that. Make sure your volume is up loud enough to appreciate :)

Pumpkin Patch

Saturday, Dustin and I took the kids to the pumpkin patch. It was actually breezy and cool, making it feel more fall-ish . Leyland looked so adorable in her Halloween outfit with matching bows that Mom and I made for her. (I gave you credit Mom, ya happy?) I had to carry Corey in my papoose thing because I forgot to bring the stroller. Mom bought a camera for me and Dustin for Christmas, but gave it to us early so that we could take some good pictures of the kids for the holidays that are coming up. Thanks Mom. Leyland had a ball at the pumpkin patch (for $8 each she better have!). She played in a huge "corn box", pet some goats, played in the dirt, and went through a hay maze with Dustin. when she reached the end of the hay maze she sat down in the dirt and wouldn't let anyone else pass. We all went on a hay ride and right before we left, we go to see a pig race. It was a pretty good day. Leyland wanted to spend the whole afternoon in the corn box, but there were bigger kids in there playing rough and a little boy putting corn in his ears. I didn't think Leyland needed anymore ideas about where to put objects (since she already puts everything she touches up her nose) so we pulled her out. That was the only melt down we had on the trip so that is amazing :) I'm including some pictures for your aesthetic pleasure.