Okay, first lemme start off by saying that I have combed the web and come up with a list of absolutely ridiculous baby products. Some of them I stole from another list created by someone else and some of them I came across on my own. More than likely you will be tempted to believe that these products are fake, but I assure you that they are real and available for purchase (with the exception of the Japanese mop idea). So let's get started :
The baby wig. Yes you are seeing a "lil kim" and a Jamaican wig for infants. I don't think that I need to express how many ways in which this is retarded.
Next, we have a baby spoon which dispenses a bite-sized portion of baby food with a squeeze. Now, this to me is just absolute laziness. It takes exactly 3.2 seconds to dip your spoon in the baby food, while it takes the baby about 10 seconds to swallow what you have given him. They should've just made an automatic swallower.
Next on the list is the Japanese design for a baby mop. I mean the kid is just crawling on the floor anyway, you might as well get your cleaning done! I think I"m going to order one of these....
This one is just sad. This is baby perfume. It is "new baby smell". So you don't even have to keep your baby clean anymore... just spritz 'em with this and they'll be good to go. I expect that this will be available in the car air freshner form soon also.
This is probably my personal favorite. Okay, so apparently if you have never heard of a play pen this is an acceptable alternative. You are seeing an infant hanging from a wall. I think this is actually for public restrooms, but I'm sure that if certain people got hold of this product their children would never be allowed down from the wall, and thus generally accepted as modern art in the home.
Let me introduce you to the Nosefrida. This product is exactly what you think it is. The woman has the end of a tube in her mouth and the other end strategically placed in her infant's nose so that she can effectively suck the snot from his nose. Now, I will say that there is a shield that prevents the snot from entering her mouth but still. EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW
Finally we have this. If I'm not mistaken it is called a zaky pillow. The sausage like protrusions you see on the baby's back are supposed to be fingers. I would laugh at anyone I saw using this product. This is a pillow in the shape of two hands designed to mimic the feel of the parent. ( I don't really see how it would fool a child unless you too have sausage fingers ). I guess this to make the parenting experience as "hands-off" as possible. Although, if you are going to trick you child into thinking he's being held, why not just hold him?Well, I hope I have enlightened you to all of the "wonderful" products available for today's parents. Also, this doubles as my christmas wish list. Just in case you were wondering.
3 comments:
I think my fave is the hand thingy. I wonder what person decided that their child needed a hand on its butt at all times. Also, my grandmother freezes Cool Whip. Who does that?
You buy it in the freezer section. When I had GD during pregnancy the nutritionist suggested that instead of ice cream... I was like Um, hello are you nuts????
Wow - some of those are just crazy!!! The refilling spoon is dumb, I agree.
Those hands, however, are actually useful in one instance. I read about them for preemies. When babies are born too early and have to be kept under heaters and on oxygen, etc., having the weighted hands helps them feel comforted. Nurses say that it makes a big difference in the babies... so that one gets my approval. The baby mop? Not so much!
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